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Dear Ruthie,

I thoroughly enjoy your column, so I don’t know why I never thought to send you my quandary until now. I hope you take the time to read it and answer it.

I never found love with another man. I haven’t even dated a man, and I’m 71 years old. Life was so different for gay men when I was young. You were expected to hide your homosexuality and raise a family. Things are so much more open now.

I have had plenty of sex with men, but that was all purely physical and lacking any real emotions. Is it too late for me to find love, even if it is simply with a good man to date and have some serious feelings for?

Better Late Than Never,

Doubting Thomas

Dear Doubting,

Don’t doubt anymore, sugar booger! Have faith that cupid is looking out for you. You mention that you’ve been sexual with men, and you seem to be comfortable with your sexual preference, but I’m not sure what you’ve done to find your Mr. Right… versus Mr. Right Now.

There are numerous social groups in the city for men of a certain age. Start by checking out the events and support groups at the Milwaukee LGBT Community Center ( Attending happenings specifically created for folks your age is a great way to expand your social circle and meet new people. You can also join the monthly gay book club at Outwords Books ( or volunteer for an LGBTQ + charity.

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You mentioned that you’re a reader of this column, so remember to check out the Social Calendar below each week. There, you’ll find plenty of events to consider where you could find a fiend with similar interests. Remember, you won’t likely find love sitting on the couch at home!

Next be open to the possibilities that surround you, and maintain a positive attitude. Love tends to find us when we’re not looking, but we need to welcome it with open arms. Maintain a positive attitude about life, love and the future and you’re more likely to attract a man with a similar attitude and outlook. Stay in touch and let me know how things work out, honey bunny!

Ruthie’s Social Calendar

March 19 — Punk Rock Rummage at X-Ray Arcade (5036 S. Packard): More than a dozen vinyl, clothing and cool-stuff vendors invade this punk-rock haven for a change-of-pace rummage. Guest DJs play continuously during the noon to 4 pm event, and there are plenty of food and drink specials to enjoy as well. The rummage is free, but for a $ 2 cover charge, you can enjoy a special early-bird hour of shopping at 11 am Any such donations ultimately benefit the Wisconsin Humane Society.

March 19 — Don’t Tell Milwaukee Comedy Show (Riverwest) at a Secret Location: Experience the Milwaukee comedy scene in a whole new (spot) light with this evening of laughs… and mystery. Here’s how it works: Order your ticket ($ 26.99) at You’ll receive an email by noon on March 19 disclosing the Riverwest venue. You’ll learn who the comics are as they come on stage during the 8 pm show. Be over 21 and bring proof of vaccination to enjoy night.

March 20 — Closing night “2022 Scholastic Art Awards: Wisconsin Exhibition” at Milwaukee Art Museum (700 N. Art Museum Dr.): It’s your last chance to check out the 300+ artworks from local students (ages 7 to 12) at MAM. Awarding excellence in the visual arts, Scholastic reviewed thousands of entries to curate an inspiring exhibit you don’t want to miss. See for categories, hours and more.

March 23 — MCDA Grab & Go Dinner at Milwaukee LGBT Community Center (1110 N. Market St.): The Milwaukee County Department of Aging offers up these tasty grab-and-go dinners on the fourth Wednesday of every month. Reserve yours by shooting an email to no later than March 22, then pick up your dinner at the center from 3-4 pm

Have a question for Ruthie? Want to share an event with her? Contact Ruthie at


Ruthie has happily worked with the Shepherd Express team for the last several years where her column “Dear Ruthie” appears weekly.

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Mar. 15, 2022

8:11 am


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